There was a gal from Vancouver

Who deftly could orally maneuver

None better in fact

To perpetrate the act 

In litigation nobody could disprove her

Enter the Burnaby femme

Adept at handling stem

Numerous awaiting amassed

Through substrate they passed

Deep rooted horticultural gem

A Richmonder upon birth 

Handily harvesting grown girth

From bed planted solo

He adroitly actuated sharpened bolo

Rightly tossing his salad with mirth 

Atop Grouse they did so grind

Such a treasured local find

Cautiously it did begin

Until time to go all in

For bestiality was on their mind

A gent from Surrey proper

Well seasoned at stealing copper

Through yard he did creep

Absconding without so much as a peep

The ginger girl’s parent did not try and stop her

Beating around the Coquitlam bush

After inhaling an abundance of kush

Now long and drawn out

The women hikers did shout

“For castration we will push!”