Fourword

You are all beautiful!

Pair ‘a Dice

Say, has anybody told You how beautiful or handsome You are today!? God’s honest truth – like a scenic delight snippet dipterous, magnificent bumblebee on an epic pollen espousing bloom the likes of Adam and Eve’s untainted paradise acting a theatrical stage of Heaven’s infinite splendour bearing, platinum beaming, golden silkworm-spun, legate lacking inkling curtains in time and space raised stasis the personification of personification standalone singularity encompassing galactic totality hypersensitivity mass nebular atomized delving spectacular arrangement like astonishment evermore impeccably fruitful harvesting delightedness kind of beautiful or handsome, You without question assuredly be. 

That’s right, You are so handsome and beautiful, every single one of You readership!!!

Why, you chintzy cheapskates!! Now, why’d Y’all have to go and get all nasty kind of ugly and hideous on me like that!? Totally uncalled for You know! Like the Papal STD, Yours Offended By The Alphabet Creator Truly can’t always be going around and giving it away for free You know! Your’s Rope & Beam For A Retirement Plan Truly has plenty of Bills to pay You know: there is my LSD dealer, Bill; my PCP dealer, Bill; My TNT dealer, Bill; My GHB dealer, Bill; My platypus egg procurer, also Bill; and of course My dominatrix/tantric yoga instructor, Billie (though she has me call her Bill, just for that extra bit of pain). Now that is a lot of goddamn Bills to pay You know! Don’t be going all monotreme yolk removal on me Y’all! Ain’t nothing better than a scrambled half mammal! I would not echidna Y’all! 

Oh well, looks like no more Offended By The Alphabet Soup for Y’all this week! Leaves Yours Dimensional Lumberer Truly more time to contemplate his naval and rope and beam and gravity and all my Bills. So many goddamn Bills!